Sunday, June 8, 2014

Dear Avenue....

....What the Fuck? Seriously...what...the...fuck.

This pretty much sums up my shopping experience here.


Once in a while, I get the notion to browse clothing sites to see if there is anything I'd like and for some reason, I ended up on Avenue's website. I don't often shop at Avenue (seriously, "often" translates to once every 5yrs) because they carry a lot of items that are NOT my style. A lot of their blouses have super crazy patterns, bright colors, gems, studs, glitter, heart, stupid sayings and just styles that are not me. Not Sheena. But a few months ago, I was looking at their website and found they had a lot of VERY beautiful dresses, so I headed over to Avenue to see what dressy treasures they had.

Lo and behold...they had LITERALLY no dresses and I was told they don't often carry many dresses, but they would have a few maxi dresses this summer. I was then talked into a credit card (which I was SURE I wouldn't get) and proceeded to buy 2 camis and a pair of their Butter Denim pants (which, for the record, do NOT fit like butter). So I have this card and I stopped by Avenue last week in search of a dress or two. 

I ended up trying on aprox 30 shirts, 5 dresses a skirt and a pair of pants. Suffice it to say, this journey was not very successful and even had me giggling in the dressing room and saying "What the fuck?" quietly. Why was I talking and laughing to myself? Let's get this stuff started, ok?

When I stopped by Avenue a few months ago, I saw this shirt that I really liked, except for the stupid jewels around the collar. The colors weren't often ones that I wear but I thought "Hey, what the hell!"

 This face is not a proud one.

This shirt looked so bad on me, you're not even allowed to see it in action.


 The nest two shirts I tried on had me swimming in them! Unless otherwise noted, the clothes I feature in here are 22/24 and as you may see, the sizing is not super consistant, which is something I have a hard time being patient about. The black shirt may not look bad, but the back is baggy and the shirt hung down low enough to almost look like I was wearing a short dress (I tried it without the skirt...no bueno).

 This shirt looked like a maternity one (which it wasn't; I checked). The sleeves fit fine, but the chest and belly area was baggy and actually flowy. It also fell weird, which you can't see in this photo. Why is it flowy?? Because it's literally two damn shirts in one and it fits weird.

See the underside? It's a second shirt...and it's weird.

This next one, I was SO HOPING would fit and look cute and I would walk out swinging my bag, while smiling, like I was in a commercial with friends and being fashionable and sexy and all those awesomely advertised things. This shirt was weird, too!!!
Same size (22/24) and where the stripped jersey ended was where a chiffon piece began, which I am disappointed to say had no extra give to it. Now, I know I have a bit ass and big hips, but I would have a expected Avenue, the producer of extended sizes (10/12-30/32) to have a little give when it comes to their shirts, especially when it will be worn to, or past, the hips. In any case, if I wore it the way it sat, the jersey stripes would fold over a little and the chiffon was stuck at a "Do Not Pass Go" point of my hips. And if I pulled it down? It looked fucking weird. It looked like I was stretching the shirt too far; it just didn't sit right.

And then, shit got weird. This blouse below, I seriously had high hopes for. Looking at the photo online, I would have put money on it that it would have been flattering on me:


But as you can see from these photos, this is NOT, NOT, NOT flattering. I'm still not sure if it's the lighting, the angle, the fabric or me, but I was told that the shark bite cuts (the tops where the sides come to a point) are more flattering on a woman who is not as "hip-py" as I am. (That means my butt is big, which I'm OK with.)

This next blouse is one where I'm pretty sure I started to lose it. At this point, I had tried on most of the tops (aprox 25) and found them all to be disappointing. This top was ridiculous. This top was the same size as the other ones and it fit me like a damn dress....a clingy tiny dress. It just started laughing and quietly saying "What the fuck! What...the...fuck!" I didn't know what else to do. 
 This is a genuine laugh.

 The back of this to just terrible to me. I actually didn't want to post it but I just had to.


I don't go for crazy patters or colors, as I don't feel they're always flattering on a bigger girl. But, in the spirit of my friend Bethany who once made me try on one of my favorite tops at Target BECAUSE of the pattern, I had to try this on. My face means "I think it looks good, but I would never wear this and I am sad because of it." While I think this dress looks decent, it's not a super flattering cut; there's no flare at the hips, the cut is a straight cut, which, I think, doesn't look flattering on most big women.
The back is SUPER pretty, though!


Finally, the dresses...this one is most annoying. It's a size 22/24 and it's freakin' tight....not very consistent. F.R.U.S.T.R.A.T.I.N.G.
The dress was SUPER clingy and tight in the front and back. Not the most flattering photos, but it also doesn't help that the lighting is absolutely atrocious. Horrible, horrible lighting.


This is my mini freak-out. I tried stepping away from the mirror, which is where the light was positioned, but it still showed every hill and valley of my body.

I made a mental note to try on the dress in a 26/28 and moved on. Again, I tried on something with a crazy pattern, not something I would often wear, but I thought it was pretty so I thought I'd try. Bad decisions on this day!!

This dress showed everything. I think this was actually a night dress, but most women would wear a night dress as a regular dress, if they're able to. I was sad that this one didn't work out.

Finally, I went home with a winner. It was the blue dress in 26/28 and, while it doesn't look not-tight in these photos, it actually fits well and isn't clingy in the back or front. I ended up buying this dress and a blue shirt for $32.06, which is from a discount on the dress and two coupons used. I feel like I won a contest....a tight and unflattering contest.


Why do I hate Avenue? I'll try to keep this factual and no longer emotional:
1. The lighting is bad. Having over-head lighting shows off a woman's rolls and imperfections even more. This can cause a perfectly fine garment to look unflattering and cause the buyer to walk away. Though she could always leave the dressing room to get an associate's opinion (which is what I often do), if the garment is SO unflattering, why would she want to share that with others?

2. MANY of the shirts I tried on do not have a seam for the sleeve (where the sleeve meets the arm holes). This gives the top a soft look which, I feel, makes it looks like the body is softer (IE: fat), rather than have the hard, distinct lines. Also, when the sleeve doesn't have that defined cut, there's no crook under the arm and in the back of the arm that visually separates the arm from the body, and since most fat women have back fat, the look of a fat arm meeting with a fat back just looks like continuous fat. Don't believe me? Look at the photos of the back of the light colored top on this post. Don't let the color of the top fool you; most of the tops had this feature and it looks the same no matter the size, color or fabric.  

3. Why does Avenue (and Walmart, by the way) feel the need to add things like studs, glitter and faux gems to tops?? If a woman wants to wear sparkly things, she should be able to wear necklaces and bracelets to add to it. Not all tops NEED something extra, which is what totally turns me off about these two retailers. I understand that a lot of women like "bling" (as my mom puts it), but bling should be added at the discretion of the wearer, not the designer. Don't believe me that Avenue over-does it? Out of the 355 tops they have listed on their site (which include camis and cardigans), 201 have patterns encompassing the entire top or the majority of it (not including simple stripes) and 29 have bling on them (sequins, faux rhinestones, broaches, etc). This means that 56.61% of their tops have patterns and 8.16% have bling...maybe I should mention that the tops with bling AND patterns were only counted as patterns. 

4. Almost every item I look at online that I think "Oh my gosh, I LOVE this!!" is an online exclusive. Honestly, some of their best, most versatile, professional-looking is an online exclusive. I understand that retailers have to cater to their clientèle, but would it be a big loss of their distribution centers sent a few items to each store of their new pieces? I know the thought would be that the store would fill up quickly with items not sold, but for the pieces that are online exclusives look to be some of the most currently fashionable and made of fabrics that many women would want to try on. I don't know about you, but as a fat woman, I NEED to try clothes on before buying them. I could buy many items in 2 different sizes and still would have to return them (which you could do in the store...which is actually damn awesome). But what a disappointment for that woman!!

What do I love about them?
-I liked the associate I spoke to (I'll call her Betty because that's my favorite female name)
-I like their jewlery
-Their in-store return policy is pretty good


As a final note, I was told that taking photos in the dressing room is not allowed. I don't like that, either. I wasn't even told why that rule was in place, but I'm glad I didn't tell Betty I did it (I'm assuming they would have had to ask me to leave?). This was a long post, but it was so frustrating shopping there.

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