Ugly Duckling: This is some good info

This past week, a friend posted this list of 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself which really, really struck a chord with me; so much so, that I sat over my lunch in the break room at work and fought back tears.

#3 Stop lying to yourself
This one stuck out to be because as I've grown up, I've let others teach me things about myself. Instead of me teaching them, I let others tell me who I am. how I am, what makes me and I've believed them all the way into adulthood. When faced with certain situations, I've very often denied myself that pleasure of life because I was told that I couldn't do _____ or that I would look wrong doing _____. All of these criticisms were centered around my weight and I really need to stop letting myself lie to me. I think I'm in a spot in life to say that I deserve a bit more.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you're not
This one definitely rings true for me as I try so hard for people to like me and, unless I don't like someone, I'm secretly crushed to find they don't like me. I then spend so many days mulling over what I could have done to make them not like me. It really is exhausting!

#16. Stop being jealous of others
The big one. This is the big one for me. See, I'm a "wanter" and if you have something I want, I'm instantly jealous that I don't have it. Women like Tess Munster make me happy, inspired and jealous all at the same time. Happy to see someone who is larger than a size 12 becoming big (no pun) in the modeling world, inspired because I can look at her and see a possible Sheena....and jealous because of everything she has. I'm jealous of her photographic face (mine takes MANY angles to look OK), her smooth fat (mine=not fucking smooth!!!), her tattoos, her pucker face, her breasts (seriously, mine don't match up to my body), jealous that she's a model and jealous she has SUCH A HOT MAN. Damn her. At one point, I even stopped following her on Instagram and Facebook because it was seriously making me sad to see all the things she has and I don't. But I really need to work on this because that is not a healthy way to go about life.