Dear Avenue....

....What the Fuck? Seriously...what...the...fuck.

This pretty much sums up my shopping experience here.

Do I Deserve to Date?

I've been in kind of a funk lately and it's all had to do with dating.

I've tried online dating a few times and had a few successes, though mostly bombs; but isn't that what dating is all about? Anyway, I haven't tried online dating (or any dating) for almost a year and I'm getting a little antsy. See, as I'm getting older, I'm noticing more people getting into relationships and doing things like going on vacations, getting married, going on adventures, having babies, all those awesome things that come with coupling up...and I want that. I know it's "bad" to want to be in a relationship, but is it really? IS it? So I want to try, but one major thing is stopping me: Do I deserve to be in a relationship?

Fat Shaming?

I found this brief article via Pinterest about Fat Shaming that asks the question why people feel the need to poke fun at and take photos of fat people. Well, probably fat women (let's keep it real, it's more socially acceptable to be over weight as a man, than a woman...that's not to say that some men aren't treated poorly because of their size).

I gotta admit...I cant' stand the phrase "fat shaming."

Conquer your fears: Challenge 1

Before my vacation, I promised myself I would do things that I'm scared of and things that I haven't done, because of fear. Fear of failure, fear of others judging me, fear of how I'll look when doing it, just fear. While this may not be a huge leap for others, I feel it's a tiny jump for me....a tiny jump that will empower me to make big leaps.

For my first challenge, I'm going to share some photos. These aren't just regular photos, these are photos I haven't shared with anyone because I don't like the way I look in them, which is dumb. It's dumb because these photos include others and. instead of sharing these great memories with my friends and loved ones, I've hidden them away! Tsk, tsk Sheena. But I'm going to change that.

My vacation and things to think about

I took a vacation recently to San Diego, CA for a few reasons:
1. Visit the city I miss
2. Visit my friend Christy who helped me out so much while I was there
3. Visit my friend Doug
4. Pathetically pretend, if only for a few days, that I was in a relationship with Doug

I < 3 the Fat Jokes

Can we just talk about something?

The Class

So I went to the bariatric class yesterday and, in the five years since I've been to it, it has definitely changed. The first time I went, the only surgery discussed was the gastric bypass (Roux NY). This time the class was a lot more informative and helped to concrete my decision. I'm not going to get a surgery...and I'm really, really fucking sad about it.

Getting organized

Last night I promised myself that I would be in bed by 10pm....I failed. I ended up reading about and watching videos on gastric surgeries. My hope is to get the gastric band (not the more extreme gastric bypass or sleeve) and after reading a few things about them, I am a bit hesitant.

The start

This coming Tuesday is the bariatric class I have to take in order for my doctor to give me a referral for the bariatric doctor. I am not nervous to take this class, as I've taken it before. I am, however, impatient to get the whole damn process started and I am nervous that I'll be turned down. Why would I be turned down? For a few very good reasons.

I'm Better

When I first started this blog, I was super, SUPER down in the dumps and, after being sick for a few days (head colds SUCK!!), and having my hair newly colored, I'm OK.

So here's the real me and what's been happening lately:

The Leaner Brain

I just recently read this article on the brains of obese/overweight women and leaner women. It's a very interesting article, but seems a bit of a bummer.

Doc Appt

So I went to the doctors yesterday and got my bloodwork done.