Do I Deserve to Date?

I've been in kind of a funk lately and it's all had to do with dating.

I've tried online dating a few times and had a few successes, though mostly bombs; but isn't that what dating is all about? Anyway, I haven't tried online dating (or any dating) for almost a year and I'm getting a little antsy. See, as I'm getting older, I'm noticing more people getting into relationships and doing things like going on vacations, getting married, going on adventures, having babies, all those awesome things that come with coupling up...and I want that. I know it's "bad" to want to be in a relationship, but is it really? IS it? So I want to try, but one major thing is stopping me: Do I deserve to be in a relationship?

My vacation and things to think about

I took a vacation recently to San Diego, CA for a few reasons:
1. Visit the city I miss
2. Visit my friend Christy who helped me out so much while I was there
3. Visit my friend Doug
4. Pathetically pretend, if only for a few days, that I was in a relationship with Doug

To date or not to date?

It's been a long time...

The Class

So I went to the bariatric class yesterday and, in the five years since I've been to it, it has definitely changed. The first time I went, the only surgery discussed was the gastric bypass (Roux NY). This time the class was a lot more informative and helped to concrete my decision. I'm not going to get a surgery...and I'm really, really fucking sad about it.

Getting organized

Last night I promised myself that I would be in bed by 10pm....I failed. I ended up reading about and watching videos on gastric surgeries. My hope is to get the gastric band (not the more extreme gastric bypass or sleeve) and after reading a few things about them, I am a bit hesitant.