I < 3 the Fat Jokes

Can we just talk about something?

I've been fat forever. There has never been a non-fat day since I was 5. I was chunky before then, but within the normal ranges. I have always been this way and have not known anything differently. During the bariatric class I went to, the nutritionist said:
"There are some things you'll have to deal with after the surgery. Eating differently, changing your activities and you will no longer be the biggest person in the room, like you've been used to."
Holy shit, for some reason, it has NEVER occurred to me that I've always seen myself as the biggest person in a room. No sarcasm here, this is in all honesty. I've known it deep down inside and have said things to myself like "You're the fattest person here," but I have never fully realized how much I identify with being the fat person.

For a very long time, I've struggled with dealing with being the biggest person (not in the room, in the general vicinity) and have found many ways over the years of dealing with it. I often mention and makes jokes about things that are bothering me (being single, broke, etc), which eventually has lead me to an INSANE habit of making jokes about my weight. In the past 6-8yrs, good friends have told me that some of my jokes "point out" that I'm fat (because, ya know, no one would have known if I hadn't have said it) and make people feel uncomfortable. Also, it makes me look self-conscious. Well, shit, if I thought I was making YOU feel uncomfortable with these jokes I'm telling, I'm sorry. Why should my jokes make me feel uncomfortable?

It don't usually take the jokes too far, and often interject them and socially appropriate junctions in conversations, but why should I worry about the comfort of others? While I do recognize this can make me look like I'm more down on myself than the average bear....COULD YOU FUCKING BLAME ME?? Plus, if the jokes are funny and to a minimum, why should I cut down on the jokes for you?

I like the fat jokes, and not all of mine are horrible; most are similar to what Fat Amy says above. Funny and ridiculous. Like Sheena. (<--me, not another Sheena)

PEEKTURE TIME!!!

Taken late 2013, after I got this Hedwig and the Angry Inch tattoo. 

<3 it