To date or not to date?

It's been a long time...

So I have a trip planned in March that is mainly to see a guy friend. I really have a "thing" for this guy....a big fucking "THING." He has admitted that he is also interested and often tells me incredibly sweet things and compliments me to where I smile, blush, and automatically want to respond with "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS." But here's the thing, he is in no way looking for a relationship with anyone, as he's been burned a few times. I think he should get over this (we've both had many conversations about this) and I can change his mind.

Be that it may, I am in a dilemma. I feel this guy is worth the wait (waiting for me to finish school and move down to San Diego and waiting for him to feel ready to be in a relationship), but I'm not sure if I can wait for I have been (super) single for 8yrs. I have been single for most of my adult life and though I should be a strong woman and not feel like a fucking loser, I DO. I feel like I am so incredibly unwanted and it sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. I have done online dating (that is where I met this friend of mine in SD) and most have ended up disappointing, though I gained a few friends from the experience. Most of my friends say, "Hey, everyone has these issues!" I know that everyone has problems dating, but I would definitely not agree if someone said I have the same pool of men to choose from as a woman who is a size 6 or even 12. Because of this smaller pool, it is even further difficult to find someone who isn't looking for a one night stand, isn't a push-over and doesn't have herpes.

So while getting my hurr did by my fabulous friend, Joey at PNG, I realized how much I've missed out on while remaining so single; so I made up my mind to join the dating world (again) after my vacation. I still care about my friend in SD, but I really, really hate the idea of possibly passing up something good that is close to me and is looking for a relationship right now. I am also slightly nervous to date, as I am very apprehensive to go for men that are classically considered out of my league....like thin guys. I recently found the video below after TerrCacilia posted a comment on the video. I did not think I would love it, but I do also, at the same time, it makes me sad because I don't know if I'll ever experience the joy, affection, love and possible security that this woman speaks of.


Just click the link. I have no idea why it wouldn't embed. :(